Grief after a VAD death
It is its own shape.
Grief after a VAD death is grief — full and real. It also has some particular features. Many bereaved family members describe a complicated mix of sorrow, peace, gratitude and relief, sometimes alongside guilt.
Peace and grief at the same time
Many people bereaved by a VAD death describe a deep sense of peace alongside their grief. The person was able to die in their own way, on their own terms, surrounded by love. This peace does not cancel the grief — but it lives alongside it.
You may feel relief — and that is okay
If the person had been suffering for a long time, you may feel relief that the suffering has ended. Relief is not the absence of love. It is what love feels like when someone you love stops hurting.
You may also feel guilt
Some bereaved people describe guilt — for being relieved, for supporting the choice, for not arguing harder against it, for not being there at the moment, for being there. None of these are signs you did anything wrong. They are signs you loved someone deeply and the loss is complicated.
Some people in your life will not understand
VAD is still new in Australian culture, and not everyone understands it. You may meet awkward silences, judgement, or unhelpful comments. You don't owe anyone the details. "She died from her illness on her own terms, surrounded by us" is a complete sentence.
Specialist bereavement support exists
Some palliative care services, hospices and grief counsellors specialise in supporting families bereaved after VAD. Ask your state's VAD navigator for a referral. Griefline can also help.
Griefline
Call 1300 845 745 · Mon–Fri 10am–8pm AEST/AEDT
See all 53 guides in Care & end of life →
From bluetulipco.com/library/end-of-life/grief-after — printed 1 October 2026.
General information only — not a substitute for legal, medical, financial, or therapeutic advice. Read the full disclaimer.
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